 “Someday, I will be proud of myself” My name's Elena, but it's alright to address me any name that suits you. I'm a Registered Nurse in the Philippines and in the United States of America. Currently waiting for a miracle so I can finally work in the west. Being a couch potato and drowning myself in books are some of my likes while anything-pork and futile people are my dislikes. Credits
| Hardwork is always repaid with blessings
To start, the month of April has been both a good and a bad month for me personally. The first two weeks of that month was spent in the hospital due to my dad getting Sepsis. In the medical world, that term simply means that a bacterial infection reaches the bloodstream, and sometimes, can lead to organ failure if not appropriately and timely managed. Admittedly, the infection did come from my dad's intrajugular vein catheter which had been utilized for his three times a week of hemodialysis. It was the risk of having that, but it was inevitable since my dad badly needed the procedure.As a nurse, I have observed that apart from hyperthermia, my dad did show other signs of infection such as body weakness, difficulty in breather and such. From the MRSA screening the resident did on my dad, it came out positive. So we all learned 4th day from his admission that he had Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus bacteria. Strong antibiotics intravenously were administered, as well as topical and antibiotic bath soap. Contact precaution was informed to all healthcare staff as well as to us family. It was no much of a problem because contact precaution only meant you needed to wear gloves and gown when near the patient. Thankfully, my dad was free from the infection two weeks upon admission, and it was obvious too upon discharge. How I wish my dad didn't have to experience this but I was grateful that it wasn't worse such as the VRSA. During this time I also sat for my IELTS Computer-Based Exam, very anxious how I will do since my mind was tormented about my dad's hospitalization and reviewing for the said exam. After the holy week, I learned that I have passed from my mentor's SMS message. God never abandoned me. Through everything, he never failed to be there with me on my exam. I can never be more thankful for giving me a positive result everytime I took a life-altering examination. To end this entry, I would like to share with you a passage that I live by: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord, "Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Ahh kilig! Road to being a USRN
September of 2017 was memorable for me because I remember signing up to an agency that deploys Filipino nurses to United States of America --- the land with greener pastures as how most nurses said it. Simultaneously, I started reviewing (agency's sponsor) for the Nursing Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX) which is the board examination to become a Registered Nurse in America. Usually, the review proper takes place for six months and I was initially to take the exam on March 2018. Unfortunately, some family problems arised and my dad was hospitalized on May 2018. I was very distracted from my review due to those as well as being my mom's everyday driver for our original driver went back to his hometown. I was overwhelmed in all that was happening which got me hopeless, thinking I might not ace the number 1 exam most nurses have trouble passing. I was unsure with myself but the agency have already booked me for the exam on 15th July 2018. With this, I told myself, "There's no more time to lose. I fucking have to get this." God heard my prayer, because even though all the review slots at Rachell Allen Review Center were all filled up, a new schedule opened up which was heavenly because it was from June 11 to July 17. Although my exam was scheduled on July 15, I still enrolled myself in the program to have fresher content until the day I have to take it.Three business days from taking the exam, an individual can view his/her result with a fee of $7.00. In my experience, it was three dreadful days of waiting and being patient. I was more faithful, prayed to God about it, asking him to bless me with his mercy in passing that exam. Admittedly, the word difficult is an understatement to describe it. It was more like a roller coaster, you know you are answering well with all the hard questions popping up and then you get a fucking easy question, then you just know you fucked the previous one. I was praying to stop after the 75th question, but I didn't. Yes I panicked a little inside. No, a lot. I kept my cool and composure, still answered until the dialog box appeared on my screen which said something like "That is the end of your exam blah blah"... it was after my 99th question. Whew! The dawn of July 18, 2018 as I remembered I woke up from a dream. My eyes were half awake but I still reached for my cellphone to check my email. Lo and behold, I got an email from my contact in Florida. The heading was something about the exam and when I clicked on it, "Good Day Maria!! Congratulations!!! You’ve passed your NCLEX" were the exact words flashed in front of me. It was the color of the rainbow so of course it woke my sleepy eyes. I immediately ran downstairs and my mom was awake on the dining table dunno what she was doing and told her the good news with tears running down both our cheeks. Ahh such an unforgettable memory indeed. Six weeks upon hearing the good news, the mail arrived at my house with my license card, my passing certificate, and my Pearsonvue score sheet. Maria Elena R. de Villena, RN, USRN To God be all the glory. Easted Sunday of 2019
Oh my God, you guys! It's been like what two years since my last blog entry? I guess I should let you in on what have taken place during the last entry up until this second? Alright I'll list it below:Seeing as my last draft was written 6th May 2015... the following month I flew to Davao where I have worked as a Staff Nurse in a tertiary hospital in Davao Del Norte, assigned specifically in the Pediatric Ward (whew that sounded like it's out of a resume haha!). Occasionally going to my mother's house in Davao City whenever I was off duty. Generally speaking, I loved living in Davao. Fresher air, not that crowded, vast landscapes and more affordable food places compared to Manila where I spent most of my lifetime. During this time, I may not have mustered speaking their dialect but I sure as hell had a better understanding of it. So all in all I stayed here for seven months and then on exactly 31st December 2015, I flew back to Manila, thus spending New Year's Eve with my family. The next happenings, I will post in the next entry. Stay tuned ;) 2017!!!
Baby, you make me happy. I have never imagined in my wildest dreams my first ever relationship will include distance, but it did. It really is amazing. We just celebrated one year of relationship this month, and I couldn't be any happier. He's the love of my life. I'm waiting on when we can finally meet in person, but Skype and Facebook never fails. In this relationship I just learned one important thing: Trust. He tells me he loves me, and I dont know but I can really tell that he means it, and that he genuinely does love me. We may have had arguements before, but we never fail to patch things up. I don't know really. I thank God everyday that he is still behind us in our relationship.Thank you, baby for existing in my life. I'm excited for us for the following years of love. I will tell more next time. Ciao <3 p=""> Finally Happy
I don't know but I am feeling more ecstatic right now. I mean with life, in general. In all fairness, I am not feeling any jealousy right now from other people, which is good considering I look up to some of them. I am happy that some people are actually having a good career path. I am not looking down on myself, but I know and I am faithful that I'll be able to do it too. I know I just got to wait.I am Catholic but I'm not always attending the holy mass every sunday, but that doesn't mean I'm any less religious than most people. I leave all to God. I know He will always be beside me through this trying times. Til next time. Just random babbling
I don't know why, but I feel alone. Not alone like I don't have a family, I'm so grateful I have this relationship with them right now. But I feel like I have no friends. I don't mean to be really emotional and I know that thing about "we're adults, we don't have to constantly update with each other etc..", but why do I feel like no one cares? No one cares to text, or hang out, or just chill. And I think, was I this useless all along? I don't mean to be "immature" but it hurts me. And the inner child in me wants to throw tantrums and just ignore them all if they ever decide to converse.That's why I can't wait. I can't wait to get away from here. To meet new people, to make new friends. You know what they say, how long you've known each other doesn't matter as long as you have the best friendship. I'm starting to question everything. It's okay I guess, I won't make effort if they won't. You can say whatever you want, whether I'm childish or what. I don't care. Trying to adult
Wow! May 13, 2015 -- apparently my last ever post here. Thank you Blogger for not deleting my blog.Anyway, one year and a month has passed, I'm frowning as I type that I'm still the same person as before. Still in the same place as before. I don't have anything I can be proud of right now, that's probably one of the reasons for my melancholy at times. Yeah, I guess I'm experiencing the "crisis" this early. I am well-aware that I haven't reached any goals yet, but I am working on it. I just believe I am extra slow on it. I wish I had different decisions before, that I had a different mindset... Sometimes I am really depressed. It's just a term, I know how serious that psychological disorder is. I'm still here though, still breathing... and I am everyday thankful to Him for that. I have failed a hundred times... running through this mess we call life. It's hard to know I'm not as competitive as other people around my age. It's hard when my colleagues have that seemingly good life with a good career path. It's hard when I am already a professional without a decent job. It's hard when I watch my mom work so hard, still for us, her kids who have already graduated and already professionals. It's hard to be denied a visa. It's all hard and I always cried. But right now, I'm slowly fighting. Trying to look for my place in this world. I will keep you posted! And, yes I will update this as often as possible. Elena  |
