This entry was supposed to be written yesterday, but I felt restless and weak. *sigh

No matter how comforting what Donna said yesterday, "it hurts me more than it does to you", that still can't cover up the wound... It's actually more hurting and more disappointing for a girl like me who had her whole head fooled that she's gonna make it.. that she's gon pass the screening.
...

The moment I received the result of my screening, I had mixed emotions -nervous, excited...- while tearing the envelope. The first thing I did was to look for the word 'Congratulations!', but it wasn't there! It was so foolish, but I looked for it the second time! Hell! I sure wasn't ready for that! I took more minutes than was supposed to be to come back to my mom who was waiting for me, btw... When I got to her, I was teary-eyed... I can't cry. It's shameful. No way! Good thing I was good in holding it back! The moment I read the letter, it was just so heart-breaking... Really, really disappointing.

I wanna say that I did my best. I'm telling you! I've never been this industrious/studious/whatever-term-fits my entire life, even in highschool. You are all witnesses of that! K I'll be honest, even in my 1st sem of college, I still wasn't feeling very eager because I'm still missing the highschool life... it was in 2nd sem where I found the determination to persevere and concentrate more on my studies... Especially in Human Anatomy!!! I really thought I was gonna fail there, but it even turned out that I'm not on the removals list, and that I actually passed it. See? Okay not boasting or anything. Wala lang... I'm just really, nanghihinayang. How can life be like this?

Anywayyy, I'm not that melancholic about it anymore... Like what Donna said, life goes on. Even some of my friends weren't able to pass the screening. And, we are gonna part ways, of course. I think it's a common thing in college, really.

When I told Isa about it, she felt really sorry for me... like I felt the pity & sympathy at the same time... like she wants to tell me that I deserve more but that she just didn't (that I don't know why)... Wala lang. Whatever.

So this is my plan. I'm gonna transfer to * * * *, it's near UST so I can visit thomasian friends anytime. But, too far from Katip. HAHA. It's okay. I'll still visit you my Katipunera friends!! Tomorrow I'll be very busy for I have to get everything in my previous school, requirements for transferring like honorable dismissal, record of transcript, etc. Ugh.

Okay, that's all for now. Bbye. :)
Don't worry. Everything will be okay. I mean, this is just the beginning. It's gonna be a twisted ride, indeed.
Good morning/night. :)

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