This past few days, mainly my start of clinical rotation in National Center for Mental Health (NCMH), has been pretty much fun! Very much. I was actually ecstatic, upbeat, overjoyed, euphoric, and whatever terms there are that are synonymous to happy. Yes, I am proud to say that one boy has managed to capture my heart (AGAIN). But! I need to tell you though, I've had a crush on him once upon a time. And when I say once a upon a time, I meant that it was in one of our Fontana days back in 2nd or 3rd year college, I can't really remember. And back then, if there was this thing we call "Love at first sight", it was different with him. With him, it was "Crush at first sight". After that Fontana escapade with my girls, I knew then that he's just one of those many boys I get infatuated with (because of his charming looks and very friendly and easy to be with), and so I dismissed the feeling because I knew that I didn't have a chance because of his existing girlfried. So, because it was that long (and she's still his girlfriend... LOYAL!!!), I thought I didn't have any feelings for him anymore. But boy was I wrong. Let's go back to my duty in NCMH. I was actually conversing to one of Nicole's friend from San Beda and she told me that they were also assigned in NCMH. I wasn't really interested and all about who her groupmates are and in which pavillion they were in. On Monday morning, I was surprised by the fact that we were assigned in the same pavillion they were in. I saw her and I said hi and kissed cheek-to-cheek. And then right around the time I rise from that position, I saw him. Him-that boy I once had a crush on. The one who had-and still has his girlfriend, the same girlfriend he had 1 or 2 years ago. I can't believe it. At that exact time, I was too - as in very much - shy to say hi, so I just didn't look his way, but I'm pretty sure he saw me (thank to my highly active peripheral vision). So we went to our designated table, which was beside theirs by the way.

(I won't really expound more regarding NCMH, so. :-D)

We went downstairs for our break. Then we went back up again to continue our orientation. On the last step, I knew they were having a lecture or something, of course I was looking through my peripheral vision. I didn't tend to look at them for the reason which I told you before... I was drop-dead shy. But to my surprise, my oh my, I actually looked at him. Fuck me! Hahaha. So, I was surprised by my uncontrolled action (which was when I looked at him), but what I was really surprised at was the fact that he acknowledged and said hi! Oh my God!!! Heaven and earth, my heart was pounding. I love him! I love him already! He's too cute and charming (and I just realized how much boys with braces affect me). And too friendly, I was so near to misjudge it.

But then, I realized, I was just dreaming....
Kidding! Hahaha. Seriously, I realized that he is not the one for me. I wish we'd talk, you know? But we just settled with waving and nodding, what the fuck is that relationship? I wouldn't base my relationship with him with just waving and nodding. I want more. Like if we connected in some level, maybe I'd feel that I may be able lose my pride and converse with him then and there. But no, we just settled with "that" kind of acknowledgement, so I don't think so.

I hope that one day I shed all these pounds that's making me look three times my natural weight like I'm one of those stuffed person from Tele Tubbies. That we'd meet at the streets of New York, the most romantic city of the world, 2 nurses in their pink or blue scrubs and he'd recognize me (still the same charming and down-to-earth person that he is), but I wouldn't recognize him, so he'd have to re-introduce himself. And that would be just the start of our fairy tale. I may seem insane with the 2 previous sentences, but there's nothing wrong in dreaming. Just don't let it be unattainable or very much impossible.

Maybe one day we will know. And I promise to let you know, stranger. (HAHA)

Bye for now. Need to review for my NCM 106.
xx

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

|