 “Someday, I will be proud of myself” My name's Elena, but it's alright to address me any name that suits you. I'm a Registered Nurse in the Philippines and in the United States of America. Currently waiting for a miracle so I can finally work in the west. Being a couch potato and drowning myself in books are some of my likes while anything-pork and futile people are my dislikes. Credits
| The life of an unemployed professional
Sorry, it's two in the morning and I just got to let this out..... I had a dream last night, and not just any dream. I don't know how to describe it, but it contained solely of this particular person, namely 'someone' (I can't use the hover thing anymore, sad). Yes, I am still perplexed up to this moment because confusion hit me big time when I awoke. I wish I can understand the whole meaning behind it, but I can't. And tonight, I knew I just had to visit someone's social media page (let's not get specific) to try and dig deeper about this confusing dilemma. To my dismay, I found nothing that is of help. I was actually disappointed, to see how someone's life changed so vastly that I don't know if I can still reach him, let alone approach him. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the fact that someone's life is every bit of successful, as how he told me how he wants his life to be once upon a time. Sadly for me, once upon a time is four, five years ago? I don't have to put the blame on anyone just because of how I felt, but seeing as how he is right now, I have no idea what got into the universe to let someone enter my dreams. 😔Lord, please enlighten me. It's already too much of a burden for me to try and comprehend how and why this happened, and so much more failing at trying. I miss someone, and I can't help but feel upset and pity on myself for feeling this (but a little bit relieved that I actually had the guts to admit it to myself), but really, self, I need to let this go. This should be from the past. Someone is part of my past that I need to let go of. If I fail at letting go, I don't think I'll be able to move on with my life. Hopeless, but I'm at this age where I must know where I'm heading. Although I know what I should be doing right now, I hope I can prioritize things, segregate vital stuff from not important stuff. Begin to delete memories of you and what I felt for you. It must be hard, but it's a start. Bottom line is, I have to have the guts to let go of you so I can have my life for my own. 😩😢 (Writing this entry helped clear my system a little bit, but it sure didn't help in figuring out about that dream 😪)
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